Sunday, April 22, 2012

It's Just.....Hair!

For the first two years of my life, it was reported that I had not much hair at all and what there was, -was blonde.

During the next few years it came in thick, dark and very wavy.  The fact that my mother insisted on  giving us children "permanents' was not something I was fond of.  See the ponytail and bangs on the left....after one of these traumatic experiences, I was always very sad that the bangs were even higher than my hairline!
I spent a lot of time trying to look cool...putting my hair in these jumbo sized rollers and then sleeping on them!  I don't think that I could even manage 5 minutes sleep with them in now!!!  That ancient contraption in the foreground is a hairdryer that I would sit under for at least half an hour.
This was me in a wedding with long hair down to my derriere` that I ironed till straight!

 And this was in nursing school and the required "do",- not touching your collar.
Here again, the long style...
followed in a few years by a short one!
This week starts my chemo I am lamenting not having hair...or eyelashes...or eyebrows at all. It just makes you feel so much like a girl!

I decided to take one last pic before it all falls out...sigh.  A person close to me told me that when she had chemo -after the first treatment, hers turned lackluster and she could literally feel it 'dying'.  After the second treatment, it all fell out.  Mine is projected to do the same.   I know there are much worse things and it will certainly save my life....but right now, I'm moping.  I's just hair.


Molly said...

Donna you have such lovely hair. Thoughts and prayers as you start your chemo. Love Molly xx

Julia said...

Sweet Donna, you will still look very beautiful without hair. You will see...

Mine started falling off by the handful on my pillow by the second treatment and I had mine buzzed off by my Tai Chi instructor. She buzzed her own hair in show of support. The hair will grow back.

I found that my scalp was sensitive after the hair all fell off and I refused to wear a wig and went bald head. I even went to church and shopping bald head and wearing a mask. Pretty frightening sight but I was set on enjoying every minutes of what life I had left. I wore a hat outdoor in the winter as it was cold on the bald head.

It was my reality and and it was my decision and I didn't care what people thought of me I was going to deal with it. As it turned out I got so much support that I couldn't believe it and got so much strength from it. Now I see several ladies at our church also going bald head.

Hugs & prayers.

Stacy Crawford said...

Good luck Donna. Prayers are going up for you at my place.

yaya said...

Hey, are you sure that wasn't a pic of Cher???? You are so beautiful and you will still be you...I'll keep reminding you! The first time I met you your hair was short. Do you remember? You came to the first apartment we lived in above the old, old office (as we call it!)...your first words to me were: "Wow, you really are pregnant!"....hmmm...I weighed alot less pregnant then than I do now not prego..hmmmm. But your hair looked adorable short!

Rebecca said...

OK, Donna. I'm embarrassed to say I had to read back a month or so to catch up with what's going on with you. I'm sorry but will follow more closely now.

It sounds like you're surrounded with wonderful & supportive friends and colleagues.

My knowledge of the effects of chemo on one's hair is limited, but I must say that a couple of my friends' hair grew in beautifully - wavy and wonderful!

It IS just hair - and yours is beautiful, just as you are. Your styles through the years have been varied. I know you'll wear your next "do" with class and style!

Praying for your piece & healing.

Debby said...

You have such beautiful hair. I know when I was told I had cancer the first thing I said was "But I want to have grandchildre." The second thing I thought about was loosing my hair. It is a big deal. They have such nice wigs now. Another blogger didn't loose all her hair....she got a pixie cut and it looked cute. Maybe that will happen for you. If it doesn't, you will still be beautiful and it will grow back. (((((HUGS))))) and prayers.

Linda P. said...

You're beautiful, dear friend, with or without your hair. Hugs and prayers coming your way.

karen said...

Donna, I hope all goes well. You are beautiful, and it isn't your hair that makes you that way - it's simply an "accessory." And the best part is that it grows back! I'll be thinking about you, praying for you, and sending good mojo your way. In the meantime, you may want to read this blog:
She is a young mother in Southern California who also battles cancer, but with such an infectious positive spirit it's inspiring. Rather like you. She liberally posts pictures of herself and her beautiful bald head. Hang tough, darlin' and we'll all be here waiting to hear your progress.

Kim said...

Good luch with your treatments Donna. I know its "just hair" but it is just a temporary bump on the road to recovery. Try and stay positive. My friends Mom told me that during her treatment she had no bad hair days. I thought that was a great way to look at it.
You are beautiful no matter what. It will grow back.
Hugs, Kim

acorn hollow said...

I too slept on those large rollers.
I had the dreaded curly hair.
I ironed it too until my sister burned my hair.
I just wish I could hug you. It is only hair but I understand.
You are a nurse you know it all but do special things for yourself.
a special book, a new nail polish,new comfortable pjs. Know you are in my prayers take a page from Julia's book there is no one stronger.

Jilda said...

Donna, we are not our hair, but I know as a woman, it is such a part of us.
I do not have cancer, I am receiving monthly 3 hour infusions because I have
hypogammglobulinemia and bronchiestasis. I think I spelled them correctly. It is odd to have COPD, I never smoked a cig in my lungs were burned by chemical several years ago, and sadly I did not receive the treatment I should have. Your beauty, shines regardless of hair, but so many of my friends and family members have experienced what you are going through. My prayers and love are sent to you every day.

Wander to the Wayside said...

Well, everyone else has already said it all, so I'll just add that I'm sending all my positive thoughts your way, and I know that no matter what happens to your hair your beauty will shine thru!

selvageedge said...

It will grow back, and you will be beautiful without it anyway! If you'd like, my baby has lots and lots of headbands with giant flowers that I'm willing to share with you. You could start a whole new fashion trend for the grown up bald girls. :)

My prayers are with you. I hope you will be feeling well enough to care about your hair in these coming weeks.

Cro Magnon said...

It possibly sounds callous suggesting a hair piece, but if you could find one that looked much like your present colour and cut, no-one would know the difference (except you of course). I hope it all goes well for you, and it's not too debilitating. Very best wishes; Cro x

Sush said...

Well it is one among many of the crappy things that happen when you have to go through chemo. I have not had to deal with this personally but my very dear friend has had to go through this more than once. I told her I felt about her hair like that Randy Travis song, 'Forever and Ever Amen'...

Honey I don't care I ain't in love with your hair
And if it all fell out well I’d love you anyway

Just the way I feel about all my friends (I count you as a dear one) who are having to endure the battle of chemo.
Wig or no wig. turban or boldly bald...we will love you for you, but I know it will still be hardest for you. Sending love and prayers and many many hugs to you!

Jeanne @ Collage of Life said...

Dear Donna... You are beautiful inside and out. I have just caught up on your posts and am sending you a very big hug with thought and prayers for a full recovery. It sounds like you have a wonderful network of family and friends around you, to help you every step of the way. It must be a tremendous comfort to have them all close by. I can feel the strength in your words Donna, you are a remarkable woman. Thank you for sharing, we are here for you too.
Thinking of you Donna from across the pond...
Jeanne xxx

Sue said...

I remember the day my best friend finally decided to shave her head because half of the hair had fallen out. She wanted to make a big event of it, so we did. She was so brave.

I will say that it came back thicker and shinier than ever after the chemo!


Tom Stephenson said...

You will look good anyway, Donna, hair or no hair. I'm so sorry you feel sad about it, but I know you will develop a new style.

Kerri said...

I agree with everyone else Donna. You will still look beautiful. I think my favorite picture is the one of you with your pixie cut. The good news is...short hair and hats are really "in" right now. A friend of mine said her hair came back healthier than it has ever been. She now has a super cute haircut...and you can't tell she ever lost her hair. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Tammy@Beatrice Banks said...

I'm so sorry. You are really a beautiful woman, inside and out. I've never lost my hair but I've lost some things that I thought would surely be the end of me. The great thing is you find strength you didn't know you had, which ultimately makes you a stronger person. And yes, it's just hair. You will get more. Praying it comes back in even more gorgeous!
Love the photo with the rollers! Vintage! lol
Prayers and hugs,

lesa said...

Good luck this week. You are beautiful. I enjoyed looking at the pretty pictures of you through the years! Be brave!

rosaria williams said...

I have seen gorgeous hair after this procedures in many women. Many of them opt for new do's and re-invent themselves.
This is not what you looked forward to; nothing in life prepares for these things. But, you were lucky to have caught the cancer in time, to get help and treatment and to come out of this with a new sense of purpose.

Enjoy your old pictures; but, look up and the sky, and the benevolence of God and his goodness, and rejoyce in the new you after this.
I'm sending lots and lots of positive energy your way.

A Tale of Two Cities said...

Oh dear, that was a walk down memory's lane for many of us--how did we ever sleep on those big curlers, but I did, night after night. I know you are facing a tough transition ahead with the loss of your hair. Hopefully you can hang on to the thought that as your hair is "dying" so are those cancer cells, and that can give you some comfort. I've just prayed for you now.

Tamara Jansen said...

Oh, my dear Donna, I want to send you my prayers and well wishes! This is going to be a tough journey for you, that's for sure.

Here's to hoping your chemo treatment isn't quite as difficult as first anticipatd and that it has all the right result!

Keep in touch!

becky said...

This is so sad, Donna, a hard grief. I will be breathing prayers of comfort and support for you as you go forward.

It was a good thing to reveiw your hair can go to the post every now and then to remind you of your healthy self...a place where you will be once more when this is all over.

vicki said...

My sweet friend- I'm sorry to be late to visit- we are out of the country and Internet is not great---

Beauty is from within-- but I totally understand your feelings. Just look at it as a price to pay towards recovery. Jump in and get it done. Mark off every treatment with a big red X on your calendar. Plan a trip- someplace you have always wanted to go-- for when your treatments are finished- give yourself something to look forward to as your reward.

You are in my prayers every single day-- you can do this- you already are--/


Jacqueline said...

My girlfriend, just before chemo began, went and chopped her hair short and dyed it platinum...said she had always wanted to try an Annie Lennox!
Good luck with the treatment...just visualize that army of meds coursing through your body slaying the demon cancer - and cheer it on!

Nezzy said...

Oh darlin, my heart and prayers are with ya. You my dear are beautiful both inside and our...with or without hair.

I just want to reach through and give ya a big old hug right now.

God bless and please feel my prayers Miss Donna.

BTW: I have an Angel Dawn update up over at my place. Her hair is growin' back curly.

Darlene said...

I can't imagine that you would iron your curly hair. I have wished all my life for curly hair. It's wavy in the back, but the top and sides are straight! I loved seeing all of the pictures of you. What a beautiful lady you are and what a darling little girl.

A couple of my very good friends had their hair fall out with chemo and it came back curly. Before it had been totally straight. They are both so happy with it now and they keep it really short. It will be fun to see how you look when it starts to grow back.

I just hope that you recover with as much energy as they both have now. One has passed the ten year mark and they other is just over five years.

I had to laugh when I saw the picture of you in those huge rollers. That brought back memories for me. I used to do the same thing. I wonder now how I ever did it.

Take care, my dear friend, you just have to know that you are in my prayers each day.

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

You have every reason to feel this way but it will grow back and be even prettier. It is strange how that happens.
Sending you so much love and prayers from Texas.
Wish I could be there to give you a hug.
Know I am keeping you in my prayers
I love you

Jen said...

Thought that you might want to read this... I thought it spoke so eloquently about the same subject you just hit here.

Btw, I wanted to tell you that i have always thought that you are such a beautiful person. You have a radiant smile that makes your eyes shine, and i am quite certain that even chemo can't dull it. Not one bit.

Jann said...

I found your blog this morning from many miles away...and although I do not know you at will be in my thoughts and is just "hair" but my dear is "your hair" have every right to mope....I wish you well and health...and courage....