Saturday, April 28, 2012

Friend or Foe?

This week was my first chemo treatment.  It was really hard for me. I started feeling the effects about half way through the treatment....a "chemically", fuzzy feeling.  About midnight, it really hit, nausea...the whole bit.  I was in bed for the first three days unable to mostly move.  Each day since I keep thinking it will get better and go away more.  So far not much luck.  I've called to have medications changed because I've been told sometimes it's just finding the right combo that helps.  Today is the first day I even feel like sitting up for a while but am weak as a kitten...as though I've had the flu for 2 weeks.  I'm pretty discouraged about it because I am normally a "doer" and all my "doing" has stopped.  I think "Can I really go through 7 more of these??" One has definitely been  enough!  I guess stopping is not really an option but I certainly would if I could. I was told that my particular regime of drugs was a rough one.  I had wanted to work through all this the best that I could but am now really discouraged about that too.  (They have been wonderfully supportive though...)  For now, will try to do what I think will put me on the right track.  (Hair...my last post...is such a superficial thing when in the middle of feeling so ill!) Thanks for the uplifting supportive comments and cards...they DO help!!!

34 comments:

Kim said...

I'm so sorry it is rough Donna. I wish I could think of something really encouraging to say. One of my friends told me that mid way through her treatment she starting thinking that each wave of nausea was a cluster of cancer cells being destroyed. She said that helped her get through it. I hope that helps :)
We are all praying for you so I hope you are feeding off that strength.

Rebecca said...

Donna, I'm glad you posted to let us (me)know how it went. I can't imagine how you are feeling - physically OR emotionally. I CAN pray though.

Would you mind either emailing me or posting your address. I'd love to send you a card from time to time.

yaya said...

Boy, I wish I could give you something to make you sleep through this whole mess...wake up and it's over and on to better things. You know I'm here for you and will do whatever you need me to. Work will be there when you are done and we'll save all the best cases for you! (Hmm...I think there's a Brar colon with your name on it!) I'll see you tomorrow if you're up to it. Love ya!

Julia said...

Oh dear Donna, how I can relate as mine was a strong one too.

With every treatment I was given a $25. pill that the nurse called the gold nugget plus a Maxaran (not sure of the spelling) for nausea but I had to take an alternative to Maxaran as it gave me awful headache as if I had a vice around my head, palpitations and an awful restlessness.

After I switched To another medication, I had no longer had those awful side effects. I suffered with this for weeks until my old nurse returned to work.

I pray and hope that the oncologist can adjust your treatments. I know that the first one is usually very strong to see how your body can cope.

Now , don't even think of working. Your body is working more than you can imagine to fight this cancer.

Hang in there. Sending loving thoughts, prayers and hugs. Julia

Molly said...

Donna, thoughts and prayers all around you from all of us. Keep strong xx

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

Hello Donna! In my eyes, you ARE continuing to be a doer--You are doing your best to get through this, and you are doing your best to not become discouraged!! Don't discount that effort and think of it as 'your job' for now. And please know that from my corner in northern Virginia, I'm sending you prayers of comfort, good thoughts and extra strength and energy from our Scottish Terrier who has more than he needs!! :-)!!

Kerri said...

Sorry this first treatment has you feeling so awful. I have thought of you off and on several times this week. I asked Yaya for your address...but didn't hear back from her. She may not have felt it was her place to give out such info and I understand that. Some of us out here in blogland would love to send you a little something to let you know we're thinking of you.

acorn hollow said...

Donna, I have thought of you a thousand times. I know it is rough but find the right mix of anti nasua drugs.know you are in my prayers nightly.
lots of hugs coming your way.
Cathy

Debby said...

It sure does seem like a strong first dose. I hope the effects will be letting up soon. I think of you often and say prayers for you. ((((((HUGS)))))

Alice ~ Folk Art Primitives said...

Sending healing thoughts your way! I ran across you on Julia B's blog and thought I'd check in to see who she was talking about! You sound like a very strong gal to me ~ hang in there ~ and I'll put you on my prayer list! Are you from Ohio? I ask because I see that your friend, Yaya is from Ohio ~ I am, too! Blessings to you on your journey! Alice

Wander to the Wayside said...

I'm surprised that you even had the energy to type this post, so the doer side of you is still in there somewhere! Thinking of you and hoping this rough beginning doesn't last long.

selvageedge said...

So sorry to hear that your treatment has been so rough. Hopefully you will feel better soon. I'm sending up a prayer for you right now!

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Good Evening Donna Sweetie...
Oh my gosh, where have I been? I missed all of this dear one. (My dashboard has been gone, and I didn't have any links to anyone, and I come back and find this.)

OMG, I will be storming the heavens with prayers dear girl. I am turning this over to the highest of all highs.

Slow baby steps dear one. I am right there wiping the tears and holding your hand. Please email me your address as I would like to send a little something your way. Pink of course. (stoneshy@msn.com)

I feel your pain about your hair sweet girl, but it will grown back. (When my niece's hair grew back it came in red and curly.)

Thank you for sharing sweet friend. I know it was hard for you, but I believe at the same time it is healing. I am here for you sweetie.

Many, many hugs and so much love, Sherry

Cro Magnon said...

Donna, you have helped so many people through your work, and every single one of them will now be wishing you well. All of us who read your 'blog' know that you merit the very best. Through our best wishes we shall try to absorb some small part of your pain. Believe in the power of love! Cro xx

A Tale of Two Cities said...

Wish you could report to us that it was going much more smoothly than this rocky start you are experiencing. Please know so many are pulling for you right now, and we are all so hopeful that each time might be a little easier as they figure out just the right blend of meds to make you more comfortable.

Sue said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, Donna. I went to one of my friends' first chemo treatment with her, and she had an allergic reaction. They did end up having to change her protocol a bit, which helped, but I won't lie and say it was easy. Toward they end she had just about had it.

But she got through, and now she has been well for more than five years. I know you will get through it, too, and I am praying for you!

And sending hugs, too.

=)

Stacy Crawford said...

I have been thinking about you a lot. I hope you find the will to continue what is right for you and your family. Looking back in some near future doing a survior walk...I hope you feel it is all worth it.

Hugs...Keep pushing through maybe that's all the "do" you need to do right now.

lesa said...

I watched my Mom go through chemo so I know it is hard. I hope it is easier the next time. Thinking of you.

Katya5 said...

Donna,
Don't give up, hang in there. It will get better.
Keeping you in my thoughts,

karen said...

You are a doer - and what you're doing now is getting through this. That's your only job right now. Anything else is extra credit. But I know you're a toughie (although I'm sure you feel anything but tough right now...) and you'll get through this. I'm sending you every ounce of support I can all the way from my heart to yours. It sounds like you have a lot of experienced commenters here too. How lucky that you're a nurse and can understand what it all means! Hang in there, and I hope it gets a little better from here.

Wanda..... said...

Sorry to hear the awful physical side affects you are enduring, Donna. Just get through it. Will be thinking positive thoughts for you everyday.

Tom Stephenson said...

Hope you're not feeling too rough, Donna.

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Good Morning Donna Sweetie...
Just checking back to see if there is any new report. I continue to keep you in my prayers dear friend.

I know this hard for you to be on the other side of the fence. You have always been the care giver, and now you are the receiver. One day at a time sweetie.

Hugs and SO much love to you, Sherry

becky said...

Oh, this isn't good news. I'm so sorry to hear it and can only wish you a better outcome SOON!

Darlene said...

Oh my gosh, Donna. I am so sorry you had such a rough time with your first chemo......how often do you have to take them? I have been wondering how you are doing so am grateful that you felt up to posting, although I'm sure it wasn't easy for you.

You have certainly been in my prayers lately and I just will keep praying that you will be up to getting all the chemo you need without having to go through so much nausea. Surely they will be able to either change the chemo somewhat or at least give you some kind of medication to ease the nausea.

Dick had to have chemo for almost two years!! He survived colon cancer. His chemo wasn't pleasant either, but at least he had a whole week in between his sessions.

Take care and know that we all love you.

vicki said...

Donna-- I know-- well, actually I don't-- but I think I understand your feelings. Don't you give in or give up-- can you count to 7? Of course you can sweet friend--- just keep go using on getting through this. You have SO many people praying for you--

Just repeat this phrase over and over-- " I'm in it to win it!"

Sending all the love I have-
Vicki

Jilda said...

Donna, this is the time you "do" for you.....you "do" what it takes to get well. Surround yourself with those who give you hope and love, and though it may seem impossible, find something to smile about daily.

Nezzy said...

Oh baby, my heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry the first one was so though. As hard as it is...it's your friend darlin'.

How I wish I could do somethin' to make it all better but all I can do is pray and pray I will.

God bless and have a restful weeken sweetie!!! :o)

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Julia said...

Hi Donna, thanks for your sweet comment. I'm so glad that you enjoyed my flower pictures. They should be real but at least you don't have to water them and they stay pretty all the time.

I'm hoping that you are on your way back up, it just suck that as soon as you start to feel a wee bit better they give you another round to make you feel yuck.

You will get through this and you will win the battle. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

I'm sending you lots of love, hugs and prayers.
Julia

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Hi Donna Sweetie...
Just checking back in to see how things are going. I pray that the dr.s have found a good medicine for you for the nauseau. I know they were working on the right combination for you. Still sending up prayers sweet one.

Please email me your mailing address. I would like to send something your way. Many hugs and much love, Sherry

(stoneshy@msn.com)

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

Donna honey I have been keeping up with you through our mutual dear sweet Cathy. I had no idea you were on here blogging.
I am so very sorry to hear about how hard it has been for you. Chemo is just something I have always prayed would not be so hard on people but it is.
Breaks my heart your going through this. My brother Gary just finished and he too had a hard time.
Hang in there sweet friend and no that we all love you and are keeping you in our prayers.
Wish I were closer for you
Love ya
Maggie

acorn hollow said...

donna I just wanted to check in, I think of you so often. I hope that you are doing well or as well as you can be at this point.
you are in my prayers.
Cathy

selvageedge said...

Just thinking of you tonight and hoping that you are feeling a little better. Sending up prayers for you right now. :)